.



When my tears refuse to obey my pain
When they are deaf to my screams
I seek refuge
My body seeks refuge

Without my consent
I shrink inward
I dissolve within my shell until I am a thousand miles away
When I reach my destination, it doesn't hurt.
I realize this miracle and amuse myself by allowing my consciousness to role in waves

Huge, beautiful waves, which crash harder and nearer to the shore of reality, of realization.
And then, the shore that I feared so, the one which seemed to bring my anguish and fear -
Is Miraculous.

Beauty beyond beauty.
I relish each arrival
Until my journey ends
And I am drawn reluctantly back
And finally my tears come,

And I Am Alive.


Kim Mordecai, January 1, 1992


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-Kim Mordecai